You fall asleep on the display couch at Target
(he really did fall asleep for a good 20-30 minutes)
Ever since Kensie was born getting adequate sleep has been nearly impossible. She has not been a good sleeper since day one. The first two weeks she had her days and nights mixed up and was waking every 1-3 hours. Once we got that taken care of she started waking up at 3 or 4 a.m. and wouldn't go back to sleep for an hour or two. Then at about two months she reverted to waking every 1-3 hours at night. Over Christmas break, she started sleeping for six hour stretches! I thought we were through the worst of it. But the last three nights she has woken up every 1-3 hours. The all familiar cycle. Just when I think things are getting better she reverts to her crazy sleep habits.
I know that not getting much sleep comes with the first couple months of parenting but it is really frustrating when I talk to people who have babies Kensie's age who are already sleeping through the night. Not to mention I'm tired of being tired.
We don't ever let her sleep in our bed. I don't nurse her to sleep. Rarely do I rock her. But here are our problems.
She has slept in her bouncer since she was a month old because she wouldn't stay asleep lying flat. Now I can't get her to transition to the crib. Our other problem is the binky. At once it was our best friend and suddenly it is our enemy. She can't go to sleep without it and wakes when it falls out. You would think I could have foreseen this problem right? It hasn't been a problem until recently. Until now, she would fall asleep with the binky and once she was asleep she would spit it out. Our other problem: crying it out. It has been hard to stay consistent with crying it out because she gets really gassy. When she is gassy she cries indefinitely. So...how can you overcome crying it out if you can only be consistent when her tummy isn't hurting, she isn't sick, you're not on vacation, etc.?
I thought this would all be a lot easier trying to get an infant to have good sleep habits. It sounds a lot easier in the books. Turns out it is much harder than I thought.
Needles to say...I'm hoping for better sleep in 2011.
9 comments:
Darci, I feel your pain! It is the worst to have a baby who doesn't seem to want to schedule her life around yours. I'm going to give you some advice...feel free to take it or leave it. =) Kaylie hated sleeping flat! We finally realized that if we tilted the crib up (Use pillows under the mattress) she got the sensation of leaning she needed and quickly outgrew that phase. The binky...will come with time. Sophie is a binky addict too but as she has gotten a little older she does without it a little better. It will come. I promise. She has also started to love her crib toy. It is a light up one that plays music. These days will be just a crazy memory soon. As far as "crying it out" you are her mom. You know best. Heavenly Father sent her to you because he knew you could raise her better than anyone else. If you don't feel comfortable letting her cry it out don't. I'm more laid back with Sophie than I was with Kaylie and I'll tell you sometimes your sleep matters more than if you rock Kensie to sleep (plus it can be relaxing for you too!) or nurse her to sleep. Do what you think is best and don't forget to pray because Heavenly Father will lead you in the direction that will help you the most.
Also one final suggestion. Get a copy of BABYWISE by Gary Ezzo. It is my personal favorite. I don't follow it quite as much as I did with Kaylie (i.e. sometimes I nurse my baby to sleep) but the general rules are great. Also another differing opinion that has merit is The Happiest Baby on The Block (I had the DVD). It really helped too. Good luck! Oh and tell Niel that must have been a sight to see!
I am so sorry about your sleep troubles! That is never fun. But as she said above, this too shall pass. Connor has been a very fussy baby as well, and he won't sleep in any position other than on his tummy. (I know, shock, gasp.) But if that's the only way he will sleep, than I will trust that he can handle sleeping on his tummy. Also, Maddie always slept on her side. That's how she liked it. Babies are all different, and trial and error and more error is the only way to figure out what they need. Good luck with your sweet Kensie. :)
Darci, I feel for you! Like I've told you, we went through the EXACT same thing. I couldn't let Eli cry it out either, for the same reasons...knowing that he couldn't sleep because his tummy hurt so bad! It felt WRONG to me to leave him, all alone in his crib, to suffer in pain with no one to comfort him. What he needed most was to trust that his mom would love him and do all she could, even if it wasn't much, and that she wouldn't abandon him in pain! (That's a double-sided coin though - sometimes you are so DONE that you actually WANT to just leave them to cry, but then you feel guilty for having those feelings.) I so agree with everything your friend Lindsey said. The most important thing is following the Spirit, remembering to turn to Heavenly Father, doing your very best as a mom (which I KNOW you are, and you're doing a fantastic job!), and then turning the rest over to the Savior. He knows the pain Kensie is going through. He knows YOUR pain too. Although it is difficult, she accepted it before she came here, and so did you - because you both knew you COULD get through it! It can be so hard watching your baby suffer...but also VERY frustrating, because you're sleep deprived and feel like you can't handle another night. It can make you feel resentful and angry, both towards your baby AND Heavenly Father for not helping you find a solution when it's such a righteous desire, and what you want more than anything! I KNOW those feelings. You can do it Darci! I think Eli came into my life to teach me that sometimes we have trials that aren't meant to be overcome with our own efforts, no matter how diligent and how righteous our desires are to right the problem. Sometimes we just need to learn that it's ok to hurt and struggle - that in those times, we can turn to the Savior and the enabling power of His atonement. A the power that can help us reach even higher, when we've done all we can and yet it still isn't enough.
For 5 months we struggled with sleepless nights and hours spent on our knees. At that point, we felt Eli's gas was a lot better and that we could finally try "crying it out." It worked! He slept so much better after that. It was NOTHING like all my friend's babies (don't you hate hearing how everyone else's kid sleeps so well, while yours can't even take a nap longer than 30 minutes?)...but at least he went from 3-4 hour stretches to 7-8 hours stretches. I'm so glad we waited. I felt a lot of pressure from people to try crying it out earlier, but it just didn't feel right to me. I wanted sleep more than anything, and I was tired of people judging me for being a "pushover" or "creating" the problem...but I'm so glad I listened to my feelings. Eli's still not the world's best sleeper on the road or when he's not in his crib, but most nights he will knock out for 12 hours without ANY problems. So hang in there! Most important, listen to YOUR feelings and stay close to the Spirit. It will guide you in ways you didn't even realize until months later.
Love you Darci! We'll send extra prayers your way!
P.s. I shouldn't laugh, but that photo of Niel is HILARIOUS! Oh you guys...you're troopers!
That photo of Niel is priceless.
I'm sorry you (and Kensie and Niel) not getting good sleep:( I obviously don't have any words of wisdom, but I'm sure I'll be going through the same thing in six months or so...hang in there.
Darc being a new mom I can't help much. But at babies r us they have a wedge that goes under the sheet and makes it so the whole body is tilted. My doctor said that kinda wedge is safe to use and the other ones have been recalled. This wedge is like at the hospital when they tilt the whole body up. Payten loves it and I sleep better since I worry about her choking on spit up.
Hey Darci
So I have been losing sleep over this post since I first read it and trust me I feel your pain so I can't have this keeping me up tonight.
(You notice the posts where advice can be given are also the posts with the most comments) :)
First I would totally fire your doctor if he told me that :)
Cedric slept with us until 16 months and at that point I felt he could cry it out. I rocked him and nursed him to sleep and I do not regret it at all. (Not to scare you but) there have been too many friends whose babies die or who can't have babies and I think I have one here and healthy and I will do what ever makes us happy and not what some book or doctor tells me is right.
I really love Dr. Sears “The Baby Book” we are an attachment parenting family and we enjoy it. I really feel that it has made life easier and I do not feel trapped at home which many people think us attachment parents are. Dr. Sears He has 6 kids (5 biological and 1 adopted). His book is very uplifting and gives you power as the parent to choose what works for your family and not care what others say.
I have read many sleep books (none really help) and many say to wait until 4 months and some say 6 months before you let them cry it out. They are still so small at 2 months and if it is bothering you than it is bothering you for a reason, listen to your instincts. That doctor does not have to lay there listening to your baby scream, you have no idea how mad I was at that doctor after I read this.
Another book many people like is the Baby Whisperer, she is not really attachment parenting and do not read her breastfeeding portion but people like her method for the younger babies so get it fast (library).
Remember you are her Mom and you know what is best for your family. Neal gave me and the babies many blessing during our really tired nights. Even if nothing changed it was a nice comfort. As Cedric got older it was nice to hear the blessings say that he would understand that this is part of growing up and that he would be comforted during sleep.
He is a good sleeper now, he does still sneak in with us at night but I love his warm little body next to mine and there is nothing better than getting woken up by a sweet little kiss for your kiddo. (well maybe not getting woken up at all would be better) :)
Ugh, that sounds like the pits! Really, all you want is for her to sleep through the night. I can't imagine how you work with so little sleep! I hope she gets herself straightened out soon, for your sake! :)
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